Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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