You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
