After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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