well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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