stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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