Are we in a gay sports bar?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i've created a new STD.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
