WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
