I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.