We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him