TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
