So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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