so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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