Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
