Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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