Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Someone shattered a urinal.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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