I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Fuck appropriateness.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
