Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
