I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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