Buhtt sex?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
