I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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