Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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