marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize