Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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