You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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