I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
