Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
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His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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