while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
