Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
