well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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