I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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