Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh god it's open bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
