oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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