In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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