ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
