dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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