i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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