Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
