They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
