Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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