Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
