You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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