I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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