Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
