that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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