Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
