this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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