I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
