ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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