Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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