Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
