I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize