i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
