she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She needs sedatives and a leash
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize