It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize