I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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