I like to think it a success when the cops are called
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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