I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
