As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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