Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
