She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize