soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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