I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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