how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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