Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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