Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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