you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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