this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
