You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize